Not to single out any of the characters in TF2 (they’re all fantastic personalities), but I’ve been playing a lot of Pyro lately, mainly because once you learn how to play it it can be a pretty brainless class if you want it to be. I haven’t had a ton of time to play TF2 [...]

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Thanks to all of the great comments in the previous threads, I decided that I wanted to do one more final analysis of the entirety of Portal after the previous two articles, mainly so that I could either convince myself one way or the other regarding my theory on why GLaDOS tortures Chell (and therefore [...]

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Okay, so the Daily Mail’s review of violent video games might be the most laughable tripe that side of the pond, but oh sweet zombie jebus, their photoshop skills are worse. They ran this image of Anne Diamond, their “expert” on violent video games (can you hear my eyes rolling?), which on the surface just [...]

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Umpteen years ago, I played this kickass game that completely broke the level-hopping genre, called Bionic Commando. The idea that you didn’t jump, but swung everywhere was just amazing in a world full of Mario and Sonics. The gameplay was so utterly addicting to me that I felt punished when a “Super” Bionic Commando was [...]

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I managed to finally get my mitts on Assassin’s Creed and began a playthrough of it today, and a buddy of mine brought over Mass Effect just so I could look at it. I’ll have some larger notes as to what each one’s getting right and wrong later, maybe some full critiques, but for now [...]

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Now that we’ve made it through a very decent chunk of the World Tour mode, there’s two things about Rock Band that have been bothering me of late. The first is that we can’t pick our AI band mates.  Sure, they’re just filler; they don’t really matter, but after we’ve worked on coming up with [...]

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Sequels are a game developer’s and publisher’s best friend. Making one typically means your first title made enough money and generated enough interest to merit making another. However, make enough of them, too close together, and you run the risk of burning out your fan base. Even though there’s been a huge outpouring of excellent [...]

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But the tanks? A serious disappointment. They were obviously nothing more than armored pickup trucks with a turret attached to them, as far as the code was concerned. They didn’t do anything that an actual tank could do. Hell, sometimes, they couldn’t even drive in reverse uphill, and I won’t even get into the “friendly” AI driving worse than a NY cabbie. Still worse, the optics on them were non-existent. I.E. they had none. A current day Abrams tank can accurately hit a target two miles away. Crysis takes place, what, ten years in the future and I can’t get a set of optics on the thing even half as good as a sniper rifle? Hell, I’ll even take the assault scope optics here. Just give me some optics. But none? Completely inexcusable. On foot I’ve got my choice of two different scopes and a pair of smart binoculars with a laser/shotgun microphone. Am I to believe there was no room for a pair of binoculars on this tank?

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Okay, holy mother of pearl, whose idea was it to put Green Grass and High Tides or whatever it’s called as the final song for Rock Band’s solo Guitar tour on Expert? The entire game has been a seriously entertaining and enjoyable/refreshing breeze from the grueling finger-cramp that is GHIII with some entertaining challenges and [...]

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Would it kill you people to pick your own god-damned weeds?  What do you mean, “who, me?”  Yes, you, Admiral, you ungrateful ass.  Why am I picking weeds on your property, anyway?  And then you have the gall to bitch and moan how I’ve been gone for a few weeks?  I’ve been busy, jerk, unlike [...]

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