C’mon Baby Light My…Fire?

by Steve Bowler on April 17, 2008 · 7 comments

in art,nitpicking

Not to single out any of the characters in TF2 (they’re all fantastic personalities), but I’ve been playing a lot of Pyro lately, mainly because once you learn how to play it it can be a pretty brainless class if you want it to be. I haven’t had a ton of time to play TF2 lately, and when I do, I’m pretty tired, so my typical offensive Sniper class is right out. Pryo is my standby, if no other reason than I like hearing his laugh. And “hudda hudda hudda” is also just too much fun to spam.

So while trying to figure out what I was going to write about tonight, a co-worker suggested that I discuss the “Pryo is a girl!” rumors that folks like to throw around (I should say “threw” around, because I’m months late on this topic), mainly because he has what appears to be a purse in his locker.

That would pretty much be where the rumor ends, because not only is he voiced by a guy (which I’ll let slide as Bart Simpson is voiced by a girl), he moves like a guy, he sounds like a guy, and he’s built like a really lanky torso/short stubby legged guy.

But, far be it from me to keep from taking anything to the extremes, I decided to do a bit of a draw-over of the Pyro, just to see where the proportions would line up, if he were a she:

Good lord no.

Verdict? PLEASE GOD DON’T LET THE PYRO BE FEMALE. Because that? Is a mutant.*

*I originally made the hips wider, but it looked worse. Also: Pyro’s head is tiiiiiiiiny. Also and: I forgot to put the “BLU” logo on her sports bra.