5 Franchises I Really Don’t Care About Anymore

by Steve Bowler on January 25, 2008 · 12 comments

in general,nitpicking

Sequels are a game developer’s and publisher’s best friend. Making one typically means your first title made enough money and generated enough interest to merit making another. However, make enough of them, too close together, and you run the risk of burning out your fan base.

Even though there’s been a huge outpouring of excellent titles the past 4 months, hardly any of them have really grabbed my attention. I think I’m just tired of playing them. For many of these, I don’t care how good they are; I no longer have any interest in the franchise.  I have no doubt they will continue to sell insanely well (at least for a time); I just don’t care anymore.  I’m breaking up with them.

5:  GranTurismo. I broke up with these guys ages ago.  I played 1 on and off quite a bit, and 2 I was so in love with I played it ’till I beat every race save for two of the endurance races.  At two hours a piece, after finishing six (or was it eight?) of them I’d had enough, and just couldn’t stomach wasting another four hours of my life to claim total victory.  Since then, I haven’t been able to bring myself to drive shiny cars around tracks without being able to also do something else with my time in the game.  I can only adjust my shocks and struts for so long before even that becomes uninteresting.  Granted, it’s an awesome driving sim.  It really is.  But so is my two hours of driving I have to do every day just to get to and from work.  Last thing I want to do when I get home is do more of that.  And yes, before you try and get all sarcastic, I do drive a Ferrarri to work at 220 mph.

4: Final Fantasy. Admittedly, I don’t really play them, I watch other people play them in my house. Which, truth be told, has been a lot of fun in the past. But I’m getting really tired of them. Honestly, are they really all that different from each other? Did the last one you played really merit a sequel? Is it still wait your turn and throw a spell/attack/heal? Can they keep calling it “Final” Fantasy if it’s really not final?  I’ll still have a soft spot in my heart for III and VII, but I stopped tuning in somewhere around X and haven’t looked back since.  I’ll continue to lust over the summons and cutscenes, but the gameplay?  No thanks.

3: Guitar Hero. 1 was amazing. 2 was a phenomenal sequel. 2.5 (80’s) was evidently a giant turd, and 3 was just a turn to the dark side. Watching one person play guitar for you is bad enough; watching two people play guitar against each other while throwing things at the other guy’s guitar to distract him is wrong in more ways than I’d rather care to document. Not to mention, releasing 4 skus in under 2 years is just fan base abuse. I mean, you might want to get some nipple balm for your cow because you’re milkin’ her hard there. You can keep your impossibly difficult solo guitar wanking, GH, I’m going to go play Rock Band with my friends now, thanks.

2: GTA. I realize I’m heading into heresy territory here, but hear me out. My problem with this series is two-fold: One, I played a bunch of the 2D GTAs (pre GTAIII) to the point where I was sick of them. Two, I played GTAIII late in the release schedule, and immediately upon finishing it I ran out and bought GTA:VC, and played that ’till I was at about 90% through the story mode and just realized that I didn’t care if I was playing a mostly reprehensible criminal character for even one more minute of my life. I haven’t touched San Andreas except for some quick co-op with a friend, and I will almost certainly not be buying GTAIV. What GTAIII did for the game industry in general has been huge, and I thank them for it, but I’d rather not spend any more time in their universe being a worthless thug, thanks. I’ve capped all the bitches and smacked all the ho’s I think any one person can in this lifetime.

1: Halo. There, I’ve said it, I have transcended heresy and leapt headfirst into blasphemy.  For the record, there have been six games from Bungie which have taken place in the Halo/Marathon universe. I have played through 4.5 of their single player campaigns, and logged hundreds of hours worth of multiplayer time in 5 of them. I’m done. Put a fork in it. I bought Halo3 because of the hype and broke my own “no trade in” policy less than two weeks later just so I could get it out of my house.  The single player isn’t all that great, and the multiplayer is hardly different from the previous offerings.  I can’t take the arcade action for another minute.  No more zero gravity jumps and guys running around in armor, please. For flying fuck’s sake, could I have some different multiplayer now?

So what about you?  What’s fallen off of your radar?

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