Would it kill you people to pick your own god-damned weeds? What do you mean, “who, me?” Yes, you, Admiral, you ungrateful ass. Why am I picking weeds on your property, anyway? And then you have the gall to bitch and moan how I’ve been gone for a few weeks? I’ve been busy, jerk, unlike you, who evidently sat on his ass and played with his model train inside for almost two months. I’m not even remotely sorry I hit you over the head 30 times with my bug net and tried to dig holes around you so you couldn’t move.
No, seriously, I’m gone for seven weeks, and you’d think someone Andromeda Strain’d the whole stupid town from orbit with weed seeds.
It’s winter for crying out loud. How the hell did you get weeds to grow out of frozen soil? There’s snow on the damn earth! What kind of mutant weeds do you people have in this town, anyway? Wait why would I even ask that you’re all bipedal animals who wa-wa talk like Peanuts adults.
From here on out, pick your own damn weeds. I just wanted to go fishing for a few minutes with my daughter, you lazy bastards, and I wound up OCD weed picking for half an hour.
No love,
The only human in town.
p.s. YOU’RE FREAKS.
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5 responses so far ↓
1 Outdoors Lifestyle RSS | Dear Residents of Animal Crossing, // Jan 6, 2008 at 1:15 am
[...] Residents of Animal Crossing, game-ism.com — game critique, game design, game development. wrote an interesting post today on Dear Residents of Animal Crossing,Here’s a quick excerpt [...]
2 Jon Weber // Jan 14, 2008 at 9:27 pm
My girlfriend and I couldn’t stop laughing when we read this. We are Animal Crossing players and loved your rants to the residents of your town. =)
3 spitfire // Jan 14, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Glad you enjoyed it. It is my sincerest desire that I could turn off the weed factory in that game. Sometimes I just want to log in and enjoy the town, and not get the guilts.
4 game-ism.com « Jon Weber // Jan 26, 2008 at 3:51 pm
[...] " Dear Residents of Animal Crossing, [...]
5 Haze // Aug 18, 2008 at 12:01 am
The “resident” part of the title brings to me a happy vision of zombies causing havoc in my Animal Crossing town.
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